He felt like a one man threesome
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
