Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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