i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
