I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
