I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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