you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
