Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
