talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
