Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
