I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
