Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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