I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
only you would photoshop your dick
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
