did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
