im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
