finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
