Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
