We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize