i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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