oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
