THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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