Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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