That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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