All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Even my vagina gasped.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
