physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
handjob tips. give me some.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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