I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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