What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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