hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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