I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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