Ambien. No doubt about it.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
