And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
