My brain says no but my pants say off.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
