wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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