There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
