i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
