Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
