wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
