She is in my trunk
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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