Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
