I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
