I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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