Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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