There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
God, I missed his penis.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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