i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
