Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
