You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
