I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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