Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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