oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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