If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
