my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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