Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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