If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
