you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
