I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
