I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
