Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
