sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
