I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
